[Nordskogen] Accessible Helpful Support <<<<<<<<

[Elizabeth Chase]

And the subject line was changed, sir..........

I also reiterate that, if someone's opinions/words/statements are viewed by any recipient as a mandate/decree, then that is the 
effect.  If a different effect is desired, then one must consider how best to accomplish that....... in person, by their actions, as 
well as their words. This applies to any part of life.

Consider this:  how off-putting is it to think that the only way you'll be an acceptable part of a group is to be totally kitted 
out, then after hanging out for 3 or 4 years waiting on the notice of the established locals so that you've 'proven' your 
persistence because so many people come and go it's just not worth their time and energy to get involved with people otherwise (this 
is a from a conversation that I had when I began), and just about every attempt you make to help is pretty much smacked down because 
it isn't how they would do it and didn't tell you what to do and how to do it (control and micromanaging)...........  oh, yeah, then 
there's the 'I did my own research, and that's how it's done....... so if you want to know something go do the research yourself. 
Why do I want to make it any easier for someone else to do what I've worked so hard to learn?' (that's from another one) I highly 
doubt that any of those people would remember what they said, or if they did, might say 'but that's not what I meant'....


I also wonder how helpful it would be to have photos available to share, of 'early' days ..........  how folks evolved their garb 
and camping efforts.........   to be fun....  a Barbie and Ken diorama in several stages from newbie to 'ideal'.......   maybe some 
forget what their own early efforts looked like.......

And again, to rely on one or three 'experts' for their information/assistance puts a lot of pressure on those individuals.  Other 
people need to also be accessible and step up to help.  If one or two individuals anticipated or actual disapproval is a 
concern......  then those people are awarded too much power/influence and it is just plain wrong to put that much pressure on them, 
because they're not 'allowed' a misstep as a result.

So, how can 'you' put the fun back in? What can 'you' do?

I know what I can do, I know what I do .....  I am responsible for my own feelings of accomplishment, for my own peace of mind 
....... even though I don't have a lot of time to play, I help where I am able, ask people to consider uncomfortable perspectives, 
and try to not take life too personally or too seriously in the long run.

OK, there must be coffee somewhere in this handbasket........

Iriye





----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Michael Nunn-Weinberg" <mjnw18 at lycos.com>
To: "The Hall of Nordskogen" <nordskogen at nordskogen.northshield.org>
Sent: Wednesday, July 19, 2006 09:15
Subject: Re: [Nordskogen] Accessible Helpful Support was demos -


This thread has been used to start a discussion on how newcomers to the SCA or active members who have
moved here from other Kingdoms have been treated by the established locals. This has the makings of a ,................. yet to be 
perfectly honest, necessary discussion that would be best moved to a thread of its' own.

Regards,
Zadok ben Solomon ibn Alfakhar